Divorce

I had this discussion yesterday about my divorce. It's very unlike most divorces. It was amicable. In fact, we didn't even have any lawyers. We did this all ourselves and divided up what little assets we had 50-50.

What freaks people out is that we get along to

this day. Don't get me wrong, we have our moments but by and large we work well together. I would venture to say that we get along better now than we did when we were married. Go figure.

So why did we get divorced? The love was lost. We got together at a very young age and got married. We started a family shortly thereafter. At first things were great but as we got older we changed fundamentally as people. Neither for the worse. We just weren't the same people we were when we first got married.

That caused real issues. I spent a good year sleeping on the couch because it was quieter, less arguing.  She saw her life going one direction and I saw mine going another. At no point did those paths intersect.  We tried for a solid two years to keep it together for the kids but in the end we were hurting them more by staying together. So one day I asked for a divorce. At first she wanted to work things out but I was steadfast. In the end she agreed that divorce was the best option.

Through the divorce we've found ourselves. We found what truly makes us happy and people that add to that happiness. The man she's with now is a pretty good guy. He and I talk when we see each other. When we're all at games we all sit together. My wife now and my ex get along too. There are some things about my ex that she doesn't understand but it's minor.

When you fall out of love there's no going back. I don't believe that you can recapture it. I truly believe either you love someone or you don't. There's no in between.

Now that I'm older and hopefully wiser I see that. One of the biggest lessons I've learned is that you can't love anyone or receive love until you love yourself. I think that's why I see so many people looking but never finding. How else will you know when you find it if you don't know what love is in the first place?

These days I'm in a good place. My wife is an amazing woman. She doesn't put up with my bullshit but knows when to use a soft hand in things. It's a delicate balance.

My divorce ended up being the best decision I could have ever made. It's part of my makeup. Its' part of what makes me who I am today.