Time won't give me time

...they make lovers feel like they've got something real. The lyrics to that song are fairly simple yet there's a lot going on in them that resonate on different levels for me.

 This could be the best place yet
But you must overcome your fears

I know this to be true. I have fears. We all have fears. My fears are so far ranging and some even irrational.

I fear success. I don't fear failure. I fear that that I will be so successful at something that I will have to keep raising the bar. I've always been like this, from elementary school to now. I skate by in life knowing that my absolute mediocre effort is enough to satisfy most. My saying is, 'Under promise, over deliver.' It causes complacency in my everyday life. I'm scared at this point in my life that I'm so grounded in my ways that I can't change that.

The time has nothing to show because
Time won't give me time

Taken literally, I have many days where I feel like I've gotten nothing accomplished. It's a shitty feeling. I waste a lot of time, a lot of days only to feel overwhelmed at the end. This is another life long battle for me.

I lead a very busy life but am I really getting the most out of it? Not by a huge margin. Believe it or not I actually have a great go to excuse for that. We'll dive in to that another time. If I say it, I'm only making more excuses no matter how valid it sounds in my head.

This weekend was a prime example. I had so many plans about what I was going to do, how I was going to get caught up and none of it happened. I had a curve balls thrown in my direction and I allowed it to derail my entire weekend.

So how do I fix it? I think I have to set goals.  If you have no measure of success, how do you know you're successful? I'm going to set goals every Monday morning. At the end of the week I'll revisit them and see what I've accomplished.

This week's goals.

1. Lift weights 3 days 
2. Go running 2 times
3. Eat clean all week
4. Wash my car
5. Get caught up at work by Friday

So that's how I'm starting my Monday, hopeful and motivated.